


Mixed Signals

by MissBinx



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: American psycho references, Angst, Creampie, Dom/sub Undertones, Enemies to Lovers, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Humiliation, Just the Tip, Lawyer Ben Solo, Light Dom/sub, Mutual Masturbation, Punishment, Rey (Star Wars) is a Mess, Sexting, Sexual Tension, Skinny Dipping, Unprotected Sex, no mention of contraception
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:48:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26676187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissBinx/pseuds/MissBinx
Summary: Ben and Rey have skirted around their attraction towards one another for a year -- sending each other mixed signal after mixed signal. Finally, Ben takes matters into his own hands and Rey realizes just what it is that she wants.My contribution for House Dadam's A-Z Kink Collection (J: 'Just the tip')
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 18
Kudos: 126
Collections: House Dadam A-Z Kink Collection





	Mixed Signals

**Author's Note:**

> Kink: Just the tip

**_Halloween 2019_ **

On nights like these, Ben found himself wondering why he was still friends with Poe Dameron and why he let himself constantly get talked into attending every stupid party that Poe threw. He knew a significant reason was due to their history -- he had known Poe since high school and they had been present at every important event in one another’s lives. Poe was more than just a friend, he was like a brother. An immature, stupid little brother: at thirty years old, Poe was still behaving like a nineteen-year-old. Which would explain all the nineteen-year olds crammed into his apartment.

What type of twenty-nine year old still threw costume parties, anyway? Ben wondered as he took a sip of the _very expensive_ bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon he had brought. A one hundred and fifty dollar bottle of wine Poe had served him from a fucking plastic solo cup like they were still in college.

When he tried to voice his disapproval, Poe had simply rolled his eyes and urged Ben to have some fun for once. And that was how Ben found himself standing in a corner brooding over his wine that was probably contaminated with BPA particles by now. He had plenty of fun, but unlike Poe, his idea of fun had evolved as he grew into adulthood.

After graduation, while Poe had gone off to work, Ben had enrolled in law school and once he graduated from there, he’d been scooped up by one of the biggest law firms on the east coast: Snoke & Associates. Naturally, his interests had shifted from chasing coeds and drinking jungle juice towards fine dining and classy parties.

Ben was considering calling it a night when his gaze was drawn across the room to where a group of friends had just entered, dressed like the Powerpuff Girls. It wasn’t the costumes that had drawn his attention or even the way several people cheered excitedly when they came into the room -- Ben’s focus would have gone to the center party of the trio, no matter what because she was, without a doubt, the prettiest girl he’d ever seen.

She was all long legs and tanned skin and the smile she gave her friends lit up the entire room. Ben felt drawn to her, wanted to know her and be the one to make her laugh like she was now.

His eyes followed her across the room, barely noticing when Poe pulled the man in a green mini-dress into an ardent embrace because Poe always seemed to have a new flavor of the week. Besides, he was too busy admiring the toned legs of the girl dressed like Blossom. When he was finished feasting on the sight of her bare legs, his eyes traveled up her slim form to take in her dimpled smile as Poe handed her a cup of the wine.

Ben wished that he could hear what she was saying because whatever it was made Poe throw his head back and laugh. She grinned in response and her other companion, the petite girl in the cheap blonde wig, was dragged off to dance with a man dressed like an astronaut. The party moved on without him -- cheers erupted somewhere in the vicinity of the bathroom, a couple could be heard fighting on the balcony -- but Ben couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from Blossom.

His opinion quickly changed, however, as he watched her take a sip of the wine he had brought. Her nose wrinkled and her entire face twisted in disgust (which Ben had to admit was still charming), but _then_ he watched in horror as she opened a bottle of sprite and dumped a generous portion into her cup. She had the nerve to turn a premium 2017 Santa Rosa Cab into some sort of bastardized fruit punch. Did she even realize the wildfires that year had ruined the grape harvest, making any wine from the region that much more precious?

He was so busy getting ripe with indignation that Poe’s approach hadn’t even been on his radar. “Ben, this is Finn,” Poe introduced the man dressed like Buttercup.

Ben blinked back to attention and shook the man’s offered hand. “Nice to meet you,” he returned politely.

“And this is his friend Rey,” Poe gestured at Blossom and Ben finally had a name to the face -- a face which was even prettier in person than it had been from across the dimly lit room and Ben had to wonder how it was possible that she could be _more_ attractive up close.

Ben offered his hand, and he swore there were sparks when she placed her palm in his. “So what are you supposed to be? Patrick Bateman?” She asked, and he was only momentarily distracted by the lyrical lilt of her English accent.

“Excuse me?” he asked, pulling his hand back and flexing his fingers.

Rey waved her hand at his body, “You know… American Psycho? Patrick Bateman?”

Ben looked down at his clothes. He’d come straight from work and hadn’t had time to change and even if he had the time, he sure as hell wouldn’t be caught dead in a Halloween costume.

Poe snickered, “He’s just wearing his clothes, Rey.”

“Oh,” Rey said, biting her lip to keep from grinning. “I just thought he was doing a bit with the murderous scowl and the over the top suit.”

Ben narrowed his eyes, “Excuse me? This is an $8000 bespoke suit and you mistook it for a Halloween costume? Of a murderer?”

“You’re the only person here not wearing a costume!” Rey laughed. “Relax. Geez. Maybe go put on a Huey Lewis CD or something.”

Any pleasant thoughts or feelings that Ben had towards this woman were quickly struck down by her bratty attitude. Each word that had come out of her mouth since meeting him had been rude and insulting. “You’re a bitch.”

“Woah. Dude. Relax,” Finn said, his brow furrowing as he stepped between Rey and Ben.

“I’m leaving,” Ben announced, handing his cup over to Poe.

“Come on, man. Lighten up, it was a joke,” Poe took the cup but put a hand on Ben’s shoulder in an attempt to calm him down.

“Let him go,” Rey said, baring her teeth in such a way that Ben would have found her sexy if he weren’t so angry. “He’s too _hip to be square_ like the rest of us.”

Ben didn’t bother sending her a glare as he stormed out of the room, feeling like a complete idiot. As he took the elevator down to the lobby, he wondered how in the hell he wound up feeling humiliated when he was the only person at the party behaving like an adult? He knew the answer but didn’t want to acknowledge it -- for the first time in who knew how long, he felt genuine attraction to a person who had done nothing but compare him to a psychotic fictional character. As he hailed a taxi cab, his wounded ego was screaming the hope that he’d never see her again.

*****

**_Christmas 2018_ **

Ben’s efforts to avoid Poe could only go on for so long, but Ben didn’t consider the two-month long radio silence between Poe’s disastrous Halloween party and the chilly November evening that he found himself in a cozy downtown bar long enough. Truthfully, he was still feeling the sting of embarrassment when he had finally agreed to meet Poe for drinks.

  
Finn had come along, and though Ben hated to admit it, he was pleasant. And he hadn’t ever known Poe to date someone for longer than a few weeks, so the fact that they were still together must have meant Poe was serious -- which led to a serious conversation as they were packing it in to leave for the night.

“You’re coming, right?” Poe asked, using his soft puppy dog eyes.

“I’ll probably be busy,” Ben lied.

Finn and Poe shared a look. “It’s not because of Rey, right?”

He wasn’t a good enough liar, apparently, because Finn and Poe shared another look when he answered no. 

Poe put an arm around him, “Just come. It will be more low-key than Halloween, I promise. I’ll serve wine out of proper glasses and everything.”

And that was how he found himself standing in Poe’s kitchen, uncorking a bottle of wine on December 25th. He’d been cognizant of his wardrobe, opting for a black sweater and black jeans, and he hoped it would be enough to help him blend in with the other guests and avoid the attention of a certain bratty partygoer who had yet to show her face.

Each time the doorbell rang, Ben found himself retreating to the kitchen to fetch more wine or napkins or appetizers; or excusing himself to the bathroom -- anything to avoid Rey’s arrival to the party. He was aware it was only a matter of time before they were face to face, but he found himself frozen in the kitchen when the doorbell rang and her musical laugh floated in from Poe’s living room.

Ben’s only saving grace at this party was Armitage Hux, Ben and Poe’s other college roommate. The night could only go more smoothly with the presence of a familiar face and Ben planned on sticking to the redhead like white on rice. So when Ben froze, Hux looked at him with a teasing grin, “Come on. I can’t believe you’re so scared of a silly girl.”

“I’m not _scared_ ,” Ben said, composing himself. “I am just not used to being made a fool of.”

“Freshman Ben would disagree with that statement,” Hux teased, grabbing a couple of wine glasses from the counter and nodding towards the kitchen door. “Remember that time you got so drunk you shit your pants…”

Hux was mid-sentence as they pushed through the door and came face to face with Rey and Rose. Ben’s face flushed at the immediate realization that Rey had heard everything and as he clenched his fists, he ground out, “That was Poe.”

“Oh yeah,” Hux laughed, but it was too late.

“You shit your pants?” Rose asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Poe did,” Ben amended, trying to keep from going crimson. He watched as Hux handed a glass to both Rose and Rey. Ben filled Rose’s glass first and then turned to fill Rey’s as well.

“Thank you, Captain Poopy Pants,” Rey teased, smirking at Ben as she raised her glass to her lips.

“It was _Poe_ ,” Ben ground out a third time.  
  
“What was me?” Poe asked, coming over to the group with Finn on his arm. As if he sensed a brewing tension, he slung an arm around Ben to try and calm his temper.

“We were just talking about the time you shit your pants,” Hux laughed.

“Which time?” Poe joked and Ben could almost growl in frustration when Rey sniggered like Poe was being charming; of course, if _Ben_ did it, it was something disgusting to make fun of him for.

“How many times was there?” Finn asked, raising an eyebrow. “Do I need to worry?”

“Nah, as long as you don’t give me any Fireball…” Poe joked and Ben took the opportunity to sneak off from the group and go back to the kitchen.

As he arranged appetizers onto a platter, he wondered when he became this way -- so quick to anger and easy to humiliate. And why on earth did it bother him so much that it was Rey who was teasing him?

“Hey,” a soft voice called, and Ben hadn’t even realized someone had snuck up on him. He turned around to find Rey, holding out a tray of Christmas cookies. “Poe told me to put these in here.”

Ben nodded towards the counter, “You can just put them over there.” He turned back to what he was doing, hoping that she would take the hint and leave.

“What are you doing?” she asked, setting the tray down and hopping onto the counter to watch him.

“Making hors d'oeuvres,” Ben said calmly, trying to keep from glancing over at her legs, which were swinging enticingly as she sat on the counter, and he had to wonder why he was even still attracted to someone so horrible. 

“Why are you making hors d’oeuvres at Poe’s party? Isn’t that his job?” she asked and Ben had to wonder who raised this girl to ask such rude questions.

“Because we’d be eating ritz crackers garnished with canned cheese,” Ben replied, refusing to lift his eyes as he placed a piece of smoked salmon on top of a triangle of pumpernickel toast.

“I _like_ canned cheese,” Rey argued.

“You would,” Ben muttered, and he could _feel_ Rey bristling next to him.

“You’re so snobby,” she grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest.

“There’s a difference between being snobby and having good taste,” Ben said and picked up a piece of his salmon bites. “Try this and tell me that canned cheese is better.”

Rey gingerly took it from Ben’s fingers, already looking like she wanted to argue before even tasting it, and popped it into her mouth. Her face went expressionless for a moment and then Ben could see her melt and her eyes roll back in her head, and he _knew_ he was right. After swallowing, her eyes went to the tray hungrily and all she could say was, “Oh my god.”

“See?” Ben smirked smugly, then had to slap her hand away when she reached for another one.

“Hey!” She rubbed her hand and glared at him like he’d taken away her favorite toy.

“Not until you admit it’s better than canned cheese,” he tutted, sliding the tray out of her reach.

“Fine, fine. It is _better._ ” When Ben slid the tray back towards her, she snatched two more off the tray, shoved one in her mouth, and said around a mouthful of food, “But canned cheese is brilliant.”

“You’re a brat, you know that?” Ben sighed, tearing his eyes away from how cute she seemed with her mouth full of food so that he could rearrange the hors d’oeuvres to fill the empty spaces Rey had formed.

“Why don’t you punish me?” Rey suggested, and Ben froze because he didn’t know what to make of that.

Was she teasing him again? Was she trying to get him to admit his attraction so that she could use it against him? Or maybe she was serious and she sensed it too?

“Rey! What’s taking so long?” Rose interrupted as she made her way into the kitchen. 

“Nothing,” Rey said, hopping off the counter and holding out her other salmon bite to her friend. “Captain Poopy Pants made this.”

Ben’s fists clenched at the nickname, and he knew then that Rey had only been teasing him again. He turned to argue and caught the cheeky way she was grinning at him, like she’d pulled one over on him, and Ben really wished he could punish her. Pull her over his knee and just spank her until her ass cheeks were pink, and she begged for forgiveness.

“Good job, Poopy Pants,” Rose snickered after swallowing her bite. Both girls giggled as they exited the kitchen.

When Ben finally rejoined the party, it was with two trays of appetizers that he placed on the table, pointedly ignoring the way Rey’s eyes had been following him across the room. She wasn’t watching him, anyway, but the food. He found Hux by Poe’s record player, putting on some saccharine Christmas pop album. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Hux straightened up. “So what do you know about Rose?”

“Who?” Ben asked, leaning against Poe’s bookshelf as Hux nodded to the dark-haired girl that Rey was talking to. “Oh. Don’t know anything about her other than she’s friends with Finn and Rey.”

“Single?” Hux asked, trying to sound nonchalant, but when Ben looked over at him, his cheeks were red.

Ben groaned. “No, not you too.”

“What?” Hux asked innocently, but his face was now as red as his hair.

“You can’t date her. Poe breaking up with Finn was my only chance of being rid of Rey. If you start dating Rose, I’ll have no escape,” Ben groaned.

“Dude,” Hux hissed and when Ben turned to look, there was no doubt in his mind that Rey had overheard him; she must have been on her way to the bathroom when he’d made his declaration.

He almost apologized, _almost_ , when he saw the hurt expression on her face, but she quickly put up a mask that hid her pain and spat, “I may be a bitch but you’re a dick!” With that, she shoved past him and slammed the bathroom door shut.

Hux shook his head and let the sarcasm drip from his voice as he commented, “Way to go.”

Ben refused to feel guilty for what he’d said. She had been nothing but rude to him in every conversation they’d had. She’d been out to get him before she even knew him, so what right did she have to feel so hurt? He grumbled, “She doesn’t like me either so why do I have to pretend to like her?”

“You can at least be civil,” Hux pointed out as Rose rushed over to the door and let herself into the bathroom.

“Why do I have to be civil to someone who has been rude from the moment she opened her mouth?”

“Because you’re an adult,” Hux pointed out and that was enough to shut Ben up.

Hux was one hundred percent correct. Rey couldn’t have been much older than twenty and here he was antagonizing her like he was a child himself. He wouldn’t pretend that she was innocent in the situation, but at the end of the day she was _young,_ and he was the grown man. 

When Rey finally emerged from the bathroom, Ben had been keen on apologizing, but Rose had fixed him with such a pointed glare he hadn’t dared to approach the two. As soon as they sat down to dinner, Rey made a point to take the farthest seat possible and Ben tried his hardest not to feel personally attacked.

He had made it clear that he didn’t want her around, and she was doing her best to make sure that was the case. By the time dinner finished, the atmosphere was awkward enough that no one truly relaxed until Rose and Rey had left for the evening. 

As guests left, Ben offered to stay and help clean up and eventually it was only Poe, Finn and Ben left at the apartment. “Hey man,” Finn carried a load of dishes from the table to where Ben was pre-rinsing and loading the dishwasher -- he’d already had an argument with Poe about the merits of pre-rinsing to avoid stuck-on food, so he could only hope Finn wasn’t here to continue said argument. He wasn’t. “Can we talk?”

“I’ll apologize to her,” Ben promised before Finn could even ask.

“Okay, cool,” Finn nodded and grabbed the rinsed plate from Ben and tossed it into the dishwasher. “I know she can be… difficult.”

Ben snorted, “That’s putting it lightly.”

“Watch it, man,” Finn said, only half-joking. “She’s like a sister to me.”

“Sorry,” Ben said, biting his tongue before he said something worse.

“She’s just… hard to get close to,” Finn offered. “She attacks from the get-go and pushes people away so that they can’t hurt her.”

“And then acts like a victim when someone does,” Ben points out.

“Because she _is_ a victim,” Finn argued, this time snatching a plate from Ben’s hand. “She doesn’t let anyone in because she’s only ever been disappointed. She is the way she is, for a reason, Ben. Her parents were drunks that just ran off and abandoned her when she was 9. When family services found her, they couldn’t manage to place her with a family that wanted to keep her.”

Ben’s heart sank at the new information. “Oh.”

“Yeah. So you can imagine how she felt when you said you wanted to be rid of her,” Finn pointed out.

Ben didn’t have anything to say to that. For as sheepish as he felt for picking on someone ten years his junior, he felt even worse knowing that she’d gotten the short end of the stick nearly her whole life. Of course, she would naturally push people away. He understood coping mechanisms well enough to know one when he saw it. She went out of her way to disappoint people before they could disappoint her first.

  
Was it right? No. But at least he could understand it. “Well, I’ll apologize next time I see her,” Ben promised. “But I don’t understand why she would take it so personally when she doesn’t even know me.”

“Because, Captain Poopy Pants, maybe she _likes_ you,” Finn finished loading the last of the dishes and flicked on the dishwasher. Before leaving the kitchen, he gave Ben a penetrating expression that had Ben confused days after the event.

*****

**_New Year’s Eve 2019_ **

If there was one holiday Ben’s family knew how to do right, it was New Year’s Eve. He had grown up in a house with parents of two different faiths -- his mom was Jewish and his father was Christian and as such, his childhood had resulted in several interesting conglomerations of Christmas and Chanukah before his parents gave altogether and decided that New Year’s Eve would be the Organa-Solo holiday of choice.

Every year, the who’s who of Manhattan fought for attendance -- out of all the parties in Chelsea, Leia Organa strove to prove hers was the best. Last year, she’d had to fight tooth and nail to keep her name at the top of the best parties list when Heidi Klum decided to move into the building across the street. This year, Leia had pulled out all the stops and had managed to convince Wolfgang Puck to handcraft the menu. Needless to say, when Ben arrived at the party, he was unsurprised to see a line of people outside hoping to get in like it was an exclusive club. He was sure that his mother was loving every minute of it.

When he entered, a man took his coat, and he knew that whatever party planner Leia had hired must have charged a fortune to plan out details this small. He looked around for someone he knew, hoping that he could avoid getting roped into any political discussions with his mother’s colleagues. 

Poe and Hux would be attending as they did yearly, and Ben had extended an olive branch invitation to Rey and Rose, though he had no idea if they would actually show up.

His dad was easy enough to find, and he would be good enough company for now, so he headed towards the study where he knew his dad kept the good liquor hidden away. When he opened the door, he was unsurprised to find his dad lounging on a leather couch, sipping at his glass of whiskey. “Ben!”

“Hey, dad,” he came into the room, noticing for the first time his father had company in the form of a familiar face.

“I was just telling your friend Rey here about the time your mother came home from work to find you dressed in her clothes,” Han grinned.

Ben glanced over at Rey, who had an untouched glass of whiskey and appeared to be trying to keep herself from laughing at the story Han had been telling. “Great. Great, dad. Did you mention that I was five and that it was _you_ who put me in Mom’s clothes?”

“I may have left that part out,” Han grinned, and when Rey laughed, he sent her a wink. “I like her, Ben.”

“Okay… maybe it’s time to take a break from the whiskey, dad,” Ben complained, wondering if he should lock the liquor cabinet. Or maybe throw it out the window before his dad could tell anymore embarrassing and easily misconstrued stories about his childhood.

“Nah,” Han shook his head. “I like her better than Dameron and Arm… Armi… Armchair…”

“Yep, you’ve definitely had too much to drink,” Ben chuckled, pulling the drink out of his dad’s hand. “Although I do like the idea of you calling Hux ‘Armchair’ to his face.”

“Where’d you meet her?” Han asked, in what he probably thought was a whisper. “She’s much better than that Bazine girl your mother has been trying to set you up with.”

“Okay… Rey. How about some hors d'oeuvres?” Ben gave up trying to shut his dad up and decided to switch tactics to escorting Rey away from him. “If you thought the ones from Poe’s party were good, then you’ll be impressed.”

Rey set her glass down on the desk and stood up from her chair. “Thanks for the story, Mr. Solo. I’m sure I’ve got lots of good ammo to use against Ben.”

Ben almost shivered from the way his name sounded falling from her lips, and he realized it was the first time she’d ever called him by his actual name. “Can’t wait,” he grumbled as he led Rey out of the room.

She had on a tight black bandage dress, an Herve Leger knockoff that he could have called her out on if he was feeling vicious, but he wasn’t, so the only words that came out of his mouth were, “You look nice.”

“Thanks,” she said quietly. “Um… I was actually just looking for a bathroom. Got turned around and ran into your dad.”

“Oh, sure. There’s one right up here,” he motioned to a door in the hallway. “I guess I’ll see you later then?”

“Yep,” she nodded, her voice curt.

“Okay. Uh, have fun,” he said and then pushed aside his pride to add, “I’m sorry about what I said last time. I hope we can be friends.” He didn’t have the courage or even the desire to hear her answer, so he moved away before she could. He had a feeling that she didn’t want to be around him, so he’d do his best to avoid her if possible.

He didn’t see her for over an hour after that, and it wasn’t until he was trying to hide from Bazine Netal that he found her in the dining room that was converted into a dance floor. Rey had her arms around a man who appeared to be her age, and he knew that she must have invited him herself because he couldn’t imagine any other guest that would have the lack of societal grace to ever wear jeans and a flannel to one of Leia Organa’s parties. He could only imagine that his mother had no idea.

Rey had a boyfriend, or at least a date, and Ben didn’t know why that annoyed him so much. Maybe it was because he had invited _her_ and it was one of the worst imaginable faux pas to bring someone to a party when you hadn’t been given a plus one. In the back of his mind, he knew that this was a stupid reason, and definitely not the actual one -- but the real one was not one he was willing to confront yet so he turned around and walked out of the room as fast as his legs could carry him.

Which happened to be right into the waiting arms of Bazine Netal. “There you are!”

*****

As midnight approached, Ben knew he would need to escape from Bazine otherwise he would be subjected to a midnight kiss -- which wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. Bazine was a beautiful woman, but she was also the kind of silly, superstitious person that would think a midnight kiss on New Year’s Eve meant something. That they were meant to be together, or that he was her good luck charm or some other equally nonsense idea.

As the hour approached, Ben could almost kiss Poe for pulling Bazine away and asking her for a dance, and he didn’t miss the way his friend mouthed, ‘RUN.’

Needing no further encouragement, he slipped out onto the balcony where Bazine wouldn’t think to look for him, and was startled to find Rey leaning against the railing. “Oh, sorry… didn’t mean to interrupt.” She’d seemed so eager to get rid of him earlier, and he couldn’t blame her after what he’d said to her a week ago. He’d invited her to make up for his behavior but that didn’t mean that they were obligated to spend time together -- especially when she’d already made it clear that she didn’t want to.

Rey glanced over at him and her reply was surprising, “You didn’t interrupt anything.” She sent him an amused smirk, “Are you hiding from someone?”

“Uh, yeah,” Ben admitted, running his hand through his hair. “My mom has been trying to set me up with her friend’s daughter for over three years.”

“She’s pretty,” Rey shrugged and finally looked away, turning her attention back to the skyline. He hadn’t known that Rey had noticed Bazine but there was a small part of him that liked that she’d been watching him.

“I guess,” he acknowledged. “But she’s about as interesting as oatmeal.”

“Hmm, maybe you’re too picky,” Rey accused and Ben didn’t miss her shiver in the cold night air.

“Probably. But I’m not the type to just settle,” Ben replied as he pulled off his suit coat and draped it over her shoulders. Rey said nothing, but he could see her cheeks grow pink in the light filtering through the glass doors. “What about you? I saw you dancing with someone. Why are you hiding out here?”

“It’s my ex. I invited him because I didn’t want to be alone tonight, but then I remembered why I dumped him in the first place.” She gave a laugh, but Ben could recognize the loneliness behind it and he couldn’t help thinking that he liked her like this -- vulnerable and open.

“You could have hung out with Finn. I saw him in there,” Ben pointed out.

“Yeah but he’s got Poe and I didn’t want to be the third wheel,” Rey said. “Maybe I shouldn’t have come.”

Ben was silent for a moment and he wasn’t sure what made him say his next words after the disastrous first few encounters he had with Rey. Maybe he was trying to make her feel better, or compensate for the way he’d treated her at Poe’s Christmas party. Or maybe it was because he genuinely meant it in the moment, “I’m glad you came.”

“No you’re not,” Rey argued. “You invited me out of pity.”

Ben couldn’t help but grin, because he should have predicted that as soon as something nice left his mouth, she would push back. “Not pity,” he challenged. “More like… overwhelming guilt.”

Rey snorted. “Thanks, Captain Poopy Pants. You sure know how to make a girl feel good.”

Ben shook his head, deciding not to take her insults so personally now that he knew why she acted the way she did. She was annoying, sure, but he could understand her need to disentangle herself from anything that might hurt her. “You’re so annoying.”

Rey seemed to take it as a compliment, if her shy smile was anything to go by, and she was about to follow up his statement with something snarky when the countdown to midnight started inside.

“Do you want to go in?” Ben asked quickly and Rey shook her head.

“You can go though. I’m sure Bazine wants a midnight kiss.” Ben scowled, perhaps a little too over-the-top because Rey laughed with delight before shyly adding, “Or you could kiss me.”

Ben paused, wondering if she was being serious or not. He could never tell with Rey and that was perhaps why he found himself annoyed around her -- not because her insults actually stung, but because he couldn’t get a good enough read on her to know what kind of feelings they were coming from. Either way, the idea of kissing her was oddly appealing and he wasn’t sure what part of his subconscious was acting when he said, “Okay.”

Rey turned to him with wide eyes, as though she had been expecting him to say no.

They were running out of time, the crowd inside was already at three, so Ben slid along the railing, standing closer to Rey as he tried unsuccessfully to find a reason not to kiss her.. “It’s bad luck not to, right?”

“Right,” Rey agreed, her tongue darting out to lick her lips as her eyes fell to Ben’s.

He lifted a hand, cupping her jaw and tilting her face up towards his and their prolonged eye contact seemed to last forever as the guests counted down -- Ben thought he could see her loneliness, her pain, her desire in the way she was looking at him, but he knew that he was projecting. Three measly seconds wasn’t enough to see all of that.

When the chant ended with one, he ducked his head, pressing his lips to hers as Rey’s hands flew to his shoulders. He’d meant to keep it chaste, had every intention to, but then she was melting against him and her hands curled into his hair as her lips parted. She was soft and warm and fit perfectly in his arms, so when she sighed into his mouth Ben could only think how this was so much better than any kiss he could have shared with Bazine.

The room exploded into cheers and the balcony door was thrown open, causing Rey to jump back away from Ben and the first thing he noticed was now embarrassed and guilty she looked. 

“Happy New Year!” Poe drunkenly shouted, having no clue what he’d just interrupted. “Come on, Ben! Drink with meee~” As Poe pulled Ben back into the party, Ben noticed that Finn didn’t look nearly as clueless and was in the middle of some kind of silent conversation with Rey -- one conveyed through looks alone and Ben wondered if it was good or bad.

Poe dragged Ben over to the open bar, shoving a glass of champagne in his hand and commenting on how bitter Bazine looked, standing in the corner nursing her own drink and glaring. “Oooh, you’re in trouble.”

Ben shrugged, taking a deep drink from the flute and commented, “She’s not my girlfriend.” He found that he couldn’t care what the hell Bazine thought about anything when his mind was still on the kiss he’d shared with Rey.

He tried to keep his eyes on her, but at some point, Rey had left the party and Ben wondered when he would see her again.

*****

**_Valentine’s Day 2020_ **

As luck would have it, Ben wouldn’t see Rey again for over a month and he couldn’t say it was entirely by choice. He’d been thinking about the kiss -- or more accurately, obsessing over it -- for weeks after the party. Was she thinking about it too? Was it one of the best kisses she’d ever had or was that all in his head? She’d left without saying goodbye and hadn’t bothered trying to contact him so maybe it had all been meaningless to her. Just a good luck kiss.

He tried to push her from his mind, to tell himself the same thing, and he liked to think that it was going pretty well. 

Until he saw her on Valentine’s Day. At first, he wasn’t sure that it was her: there were plenty of pretty brunettes in New York. She couldn’t have found a boyfriend so quickly, and yet when he heard her laugh, he _knew_ it was Rey. Holding hands with some guy.

Ben tried not to feel disappointed because he’d known that there was a potential that the kiss had meant nothing to Rey. Of course it meant nothing. She was ten years younger than him. What _actual_ interest would someone like her have in a thirty year old man?

Just because she’d kissed him didn’t mean that she was obligated to give him more. Ben knew that and yet he felt stupid for ever thinking that there could be more between him and Rey. Especially when she’d made it so blatantly obvious that she didn’t care much for him to begin with. And yet, that didn’t stop him from following Rey as she swung her hand in the mystery man’s hand.

He felt stupid and used, though he knew he had no good reason too. Once he was able to convince himself that Rey wasn’t worth thinking about, he turned and walked away, refusing to spend another minute thinking about her.

*****

**Poe’s Birthday 2020**

After the Valentine’s incident, Ben decided that he needed to forget about Rey and refocus his attention on work. He’d taken on a big case and with no distractions, he was able to throw himself into pre-trial research and depositions, meaning long nights at the office.

When Poe’s birthday rolled around in May, he knew that he couldn’t avoid having a social life forever. He’d been pretty silent in the past few months, to the point where he’d been accused of dropping off the face of the earth, so even he could admit that it was time to unwind a little when Poe invited him over to celebrate his 30th birthday.

Like every one of Poe’s parties, Ben found himself in charge of food and libations -- only because he knew that if he didn’t, they’d be eating stale potato chips from the back of Poe’s cupboard. 

He didn’t have time to make something himself, but he’d stopped by Poe’s favorite sushi place on his way over and hoped that it would be enough food to feed whoever was attending the party. His mind went to Rey, but then he wondered if Poe was even dating Finn anymore. Instincts told him no, because he didn’t think Poe ever had a monogamous relationship that lasted six months. 

But secretly, Ben hoped that they were still together because it meant that there was a chance that Rey would be in attendance.

He let himself into Poe’s apartment when he arrived, like he always did, and was completely unsurprised to find that the party was already in full swing. “Ben!” Poe cheered as he walked through the door.

Poe bounced over, beer in hand and yelled excitedly, “I told you Ben would bring food, Finn!”

Finn appeared to be more sober as he joined Poe, giving his boyfriend an admonishing look. “It’s your party. _YOU_ should be the one providing food for your guests.”

“Good luck with that,” Ben joked, bringing the tray of sushi towards the kitchen so that he could unwrap it. “I’ve been trying to teach him party etiquette for how many years?”

“At least ten,” Poe answered unhelpfully. He was clearly already drunk, because he wrapped his arms around Ben’s middle from behind. “I’m so glad you came.”

“I told you that I would,” Ben grumbled, trying to shake Poe off of him. 

Poe leaned closer, whispering into Ben’s ear, “Rey’s here.”

Ben willed his body not to go rigid at that and rolled his shoulder to shrug Poe away from his ear. “Why would I care?”

“Hmm,” was all Poe answered before snatching a piece of sushi from the tray Ben had just finished unwrapping. “Thanks, man.”

Ben rolled his eyes at his best friend and carried the tray out to the living room where he was sure that Poe’s guests were starving -- what kind of host didn’t feed his guests?? Sure enough, as soon as Ben emerged, Rey had sidled up to him and snatched a piece of sushi off the tray.

“What is this?” Rey asked, wrinkling her nose and holding it between her thumb and forefinger. She twisted it around, examining it carefully, and poked the piece of raw tuna in the center.

“Sushi,” Ben said, as if it was obvious.

“Raw fish? Yuck…” Rey tried putting it back on the tray but Ben held it out of her reach.

“You touched it! You can’t put it back on the tray!” He scolded her.

“I didn’t lick it,” she argued. “I’m not going to eat it! Do you want it to go to waste?”

“Try it,” Ben said, setting the tray on the table and picking up a piece.

“No way! It’s _raw fish_. You can’t eat uncooked--”

Ben shoved the piece of sushi he was holding past Rey’s lips and she looked stunned for a moment before she shut her mouth and chewed it up, her face lighting up, even though she tried to hide it. Ben had to admit that she looked adorable.. “Good, right?”

She scowled at him. “You’re a food pusher. And a snob.” But even as she said it, she lifted the piece she’d been holding -- the same one she’d tried putting back on the tray -- and popped it into her mouth.

“Just admit I’m right,” Ben said smugly, crossing his arms over his chest.

“And inflate your ego? Yeah, right…” Rey complained, mirroring his body language. 

“Oh my god, Rey. These are so good!” Rose interrupted, holding up a salmon skin roll and shoving it into Rey’s mouth. “Poe’s parties have the bougiest food!”

He was about to protest that Poe’s ‘bougie’ food had nothing to do with Poe, and everything to do with _him_ , but Rey was already being pulled away by her friend.

*****

Ben spent a good portion of the party watching Rey. He didn’t like the way he felt around her, always confused about where they stood. There was an attraction there, at least from his end. She was beautiful and vulnerable -- she had an air of loneliness surrounding her that Ben understood. But at the same time, she was always insulting him, degrading him, making him feel like he’d done something wrong. And yet, there had to be something there, right? She’d been the one to suggest the kiss on New Year’s Eve.

She wasn’t giving him the time of day -- hadn’t looked in his direction once -- and then halfway through the party, she was in the corner flirting with one of Poe’s co-workers and Ben couldn’t help feeling annoyed.

She wasn’t interested in him, Ben told himself with finality. Why would she be? She was ten years younger than him, she lit up a room with her beauty and she had made no qualms about her distaste with Ben’s personality. He had to get a grip and push down whatever feelings he had towards her.

Starting with leaving the party. He reached into his pocket for his phone so that he could check the time, but came up empty handed. He must have set it down somewhere at some point during the evening, and after some searching, he found it on a coffee table. Unable to remember setting it there, he figured someone must have moved it.  
  
He shoved his phone in his pocket and went to find Poe. “I’m going to head home,” Ben declared, interrupting a conversation Poe had been having with Finn and Rose. 

“So early?” Poe frowned.

“I have to get up early tomorrow,” Ben lied and Poe gave him a look that said he clearly didn’t believe him.

“Is that the only reason?” Poe asked, and his eyes darted over to where Rey was sitting on the couch, now making out with the mystery man.

“Of course.” Ben tried not to let his annoyance leak into his voice and wondered how Poe knew about his feelings towards Rey. At some point, he’d become too obvious in his attraction and it would have to stop now. He was too old for crushes and pining. “Happy Birthday, Poe.”

Poe looked reluctant to let the conversation drop there, but it seemed he knew better than to anger Ben so he pulled him into a hug. “Thanks for coming.”

When Ben managed to disentangle himself from Poe, he gave a final wave and let himself out, refusing to look back at Rey. 

*****

The first text came a few days later when Ben had gotten home from a particularly long day in the office, full of yelling and, Ben hated to admit it, throwing things. His current case was a charge of racketeering and the district attorney had announced that additional charges of arson, kidnapping and murder would be added against his client. Essentially, the entire case was fucked unless he figured something out.

_‘What are you doing?’_ Came the first text from an unknown number.

_‘Who is this?’_ Ben typed out. As a lawyer, especially one working on such a notorious case, he needed to be extra careful about who he spoke with.

The reply that came made Ben’s eyebrows shoot up -- a picture of a woman lying in bed, just her torso visible, and whoever she was, she wore a set of lacy blue panties and matching bralette. ‘ _Guess_ 😜’

Ben’s mind went blank for a moment, and he found himself staring a little too long at the photo, even zooming in to see the pink of the mystery woman’s nipples through the lacy little bra. He licked his lips, and imagined himself sucking and nibbling at those nipples through the lace until they stood up in hard little points. He stopped himself when he felt his cock twitch in his pants. Someone was messing with him. Or… _‘I think you have the wrong number.’_

_‘I don’t think so, Ben.’_ Came the reply. _‘Do you want to know what I’m doing?’_

Before he could reply one way or the other, another picture came through, and this time his mystery girl had her hand shoved inside of the panties. Ben swallowed and shifted, spreading his legs apart to make room for his erection. Whoever it was, they knew who he was. And it had been so long since Ben had been with a woman, so could he be blamed as he unzipped his slacks and shoved them down his thighs along with his underwear.

He hissed as the cold air hit his erection, and he immediately took himself in hand, giving a few lazy strokes with his left hand as he used his right to type. _‘Who is this?’_ he asked again.

_‘You don’t know?’_

_‘I have no idea,’_ he replied, and he had to set the phone on the couch next to him as his pace increased, twisting his fist slightly around his girth on the upstroke. He knew he wouldn’t last long and he almost felt pathetic for jerking off to a couple pictures of a mystery woman.

Another picture popped up on the screen, and Ben actually grunted, stopping mid stroke to squeeze himself before he made a mess. The picture was of Rey’s face, her lips wrapped around her shiny fingers and Ben knew that she was tasting herself.

A million thoughts flooded through his mind -- did she taste good? Was she thinking of him? Did she want him? He let go of his cock and scrambled to pick up the phone, fully intending to ask, when another message popped up. ‘ _Your turn’_

‘ _What do you mean?’_ he typed, and knew that he must sound stupid but he’d never been in a situation like this before.

‘ _You’re touching yourself,’_ She began, and Ben wondered how she knew. _‘Show me.’_

This was a bad idea and he knew it. She was probably just trying to humiliate him -- get a picture of him jerking off to her and send it to everyone she knew. He was sure she was laughing at him. But then… she’d also sent him pictures so what was stopping him from doing the same? He could just as easily use them to humiliate her. He thought about it for only a few minutes before the urge to comply overtook him. He picked up his phone and snapped a picture of his lap, his pants shoved down and his fist wrapped around the base. He sent it before he had the chance to second guess himself.

And he waited to see what she thought. Two minutes turned to ten, which stretched to an hour and Ben was too proud to follow it up with another text. He’d gone soft at the five minute mark and he wondered if she was turned off. She’d asked for a photo, so he hadn’t done anything wrong, but Ben couldn’t help the ugly feeling bubbling up in him at her lack of response.

After the hour mark, he regretfully deleted all of the messages from his phone and went to bed, feeling unsatisfied.

****

**Fourth of July, 2020**

Ben and Poe’s fourth of July camping trip had been an annual tradition for as long as they’d known each other. The trial had just ended, Ben’s client was off the hook, and he was looking forward to the much needed (and deserved) vacation.

What he hadn’t anticipated, however, was that their quiet weekend would turn into a rowdy party. 

When Ben pulled up to their campsite, the first thing he noticed was not one single tent, but three separate ones. He knew that he shouldn’t be surprised -- Poe was spontaneous and thoughtless enough that he would see no problem with inviting twenty people to what was usually a quiet trip.

He tried to give Poe the benefit of a doubt -- twenty people was definitely an exaggeration, but when he climbed out of his car, a book by his favorite author in hand, he felt himself grow annoyed with the music blasting through the campsite.

“Ben’s here!” Poe cheered, cracking open a cooler and pulling out a frosty beer. “Hey, man.”

“Poe,” Ben said, through gritted teeth. “So nice of you to invite everyone and their mother.”

Poe waved his hand and shoved the beer at Ben. “Relax! Finn’s never been camping before so I thought I’d invite him. And he invited a couple friends. Rey is here.”

Ben clenched his jaw and spat, “I don’t _care_ who’s here!” Before Poe could even argue, he turned on his heel and stomped off into the woods. His heart was racing and he felt himself almost shaking with how angry he was at Poe for inviting _her._ How was he supposed to relax when she was around? It had taken him weeks before he stopped panicking over the fact that he’d sent her a picture of himself jerking off. A picture she’d never replied to. She hadn’t sent a single text since then. And he hated the way he felt confused and humiliated over the entire situation.

He was stomping through the woods blindly in his anger, but he’d been here enough times to know where he was going and he kept walking until he reached the river and then sat himself on a rocky outcropping.

He took off his hiking boots and socks, plunging his feet into the cool water and opened his book. At least he could relax out here. He probably wouldn’t be taking any peaceful hikes with Poe this trip but that didn’t mean he couldn’t enjoy the peaceful tranquility of nature by himself.

And he wouldn’t think about Rey.

He had no idea how long he’d been sitting there when he heard splashing, and he lifted his eyes from the pages to watch as a dark haired woman floated along in the river, on her back, completely naked. Ben sputtered, choking on his spit as he tried to make sense of the sight and then he realized that it was _Rey._ “What the _fuck_ are you doing?”

He seemed to startle her and her arms flailed and then she plunged herself deep in the water, until she was submerged to her shoulders. She seemed to relax when she saw it was Ben. “Oh, it’s you.”

“What are you doing?” he asked again, feeling slightly calmer now that her breasts were no longer visible.

“Swimming,” Rey said, as if it was obvious.

“Naked?” he asked incredulously, and she rolled her eyes at him, making him feel stupid for even asking.

“I didn’t bring a swimsuit,” she answered with a shrug.

Ben just shook his head and picked up his book, deciding to ignore her. “Can you be a little more quiet?”

She was unphased as she doggy paddled over to Ben’s rocky ledge. “What are you reading?”

“A book.” Ben answered, trying not to look as Rey’s small breasts seemed to float at the surface of the water.

“Obviously,” she rolled her eyes. “What is it about?”

Ben wondered if he could ignore her, but found that he didn’t really _want_ to. He liked when Rey was nice, when she was interested in him and what he enjoyed. There was an added bonus that she was naked and he wondered if it was intentional when her breasts brushed against his toes in the water. He was about to tell her the plot of the novel when he was interrupted by more splashing.

“There you are!” came a man’s voice, and Ben watched as the stranger paddled his way over to Rey. It wasn’t the man from Valentine’s Day or the one from Poe’s party and Ben found himself annoyed with her. Was this her thing? Using men, playing with them and then casting them aside? His stomach twisted in anger at the thought and he hated that there was a heavy feeling in his chest because he recognized it -- jealousy. Even knowing that all she was doing was playing with him, he couldn’t help but feel jealous as the other man wrapped his arms around Rey’s naked torso from behind. “Who’s this perv?” he nodded at Ben.

“This is Ben,” Rey said, and he couldn’t help but notice that she sounded annoyed by the man’s question. She shrugged her way out of the man’s grasp and doggy paddled away to put some distance between them. “He’s not a perv.”

Ben had heard more than enough. He shoved his wet feet into his boots, put his socks in his pockets and jumped to his feet, ignoring Rey’s laughs as he wandered back into the woods.

****

Ben had decided to join Finn and Poe in their quest to get drunk when he arrived back at the campsite. He would need all the help he could get to get through an entire weekend of Rey. Rey and another man. He was midway through his fifth beer when Rey’s man came stomping out of the woods, going straight to his car before climbing in and tearing out of the campsite.

“Another one bites the dust,” Finn joked, taking a long drag from his beer.

Poe shook his head, “Good riddance. I hated that guy.”

Finn shrugged, “He’s like the rest. She finds a loser, scares him off, and it starts all over.”

“Maybe if she were nicer, she’d find someone who would stick around longer than a week,” Poe started, and his eyes darted over to Ben.

Ben ignored the look, the same way he chose to ignore every hint that Poe dropped regarding Rey.

“She _is_ nice,” Finn argued. “She’s just…”

“She’s testing them,” Ben said, and he had no idea where that statement came from or why he was involving himself in a conversation that was none of his business.

“Exactly!” Finn said. “See? Ben gets it.”

Ben nodded, because he felt like the final puzzle piece was being placed. An epiphany of sorts. “She treats people that way hoping that they’ll stay. That they’ll love her despite her faults and choose to stay.”

“Yes!” Finn pointed at Ben. “And they never do.”

Ben didn’t say anything. Rey had entered the campsite and it was clear that she’d been crying. She had her arms wrapped around her middle and stood there for a moment, but when she made eye contact with Ben, she turned away and hurried off to her tent.

“I still think she could be nicer,” Poe grumbled under his breath.

*****

Rey didn’t come out for dinner -- hot dogs roasted over the campfire -- and no one seemed really concerned. They all carried on talking and laughing and Ben couldn’t imagine how much that must have hurt Rey. That her friends hadn’t even checked in on her. Sure, maybe she had a new guy every week, but that didn’t mean that she didn’t have feelings.

And now Ben understood those feelings. She was lonely and hurt and wanted to be loved and maybe that was part of the reason why he was so attracted to her -- these were all feelings that he could understand well.

When the meal was winding down, Ben roasted one last hotdog and put it in a bun. He piled the plate with potato chips and coleslaw and hesitantly walked towards the tent where Rey was holed up. “Rey?”

There was no response, but he could hear her stifling her sniffles and he couldn’t help the way his heart clenched. He knew what she must be feeling -- no one loved her. 

“I uh, I brought you some dinner,” he said. “It’s okay if you don’t want to come out, but you should eat something.”

The tent flap unzipped and Rey stuck her head and arms out, taking the plate from Ben. “Thank you,” she said quietly.

Ben scratched his head awkwardly, unsure of what to say. “Yeah, sure. Anytime. Come out and join us whenever you feel like it, okay?”

She nodded and then disappeared back into the sanctuary of her tent, zipping it up and sealing herself away. When Ben got back to the campfire, he was surprised by the silence and the three sets of eyes fixed on him. “What?” he asked grumpily.

“Nothing,” they all said at the same time.

*****

Ben thought he was imagining the sound at first, a rustling just outside of his tent, but then he heard the zipper and bolted upright. Something was coming into his tent.

A few hours earlier, Poe and Finn had retreated back to their tent and Rose had gone to sleep with Rey in hers, leaving Ben alone in a tent on the outskirts of the campsite. He wasn’t afraid when he’d gone to bed, but there were bears up here in the catskills.

When the flap opened and a head poked through, Ben felt himself relax slightly. “Rey? What are you doing here?”

She didn’t answer as she crawled into his tent and she sat on her knees, looking torn.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, wondering if she was sleepwalking.

“Can I stay here?” she asked quietly and Ben thought that this was definitely the most vulnerable he’d ever seen her. 

He knew it was a bad idea. She was feeling hurt from the breakup and didn’t want to be a regret for her come tomorrow. And yet, he couldn’t really deny her either. “Okay.”

She sat for a moment and then whispered, “Lay down.”

He did as he was told and when he was settled, she crawled over, crawling into his oversized sleeping bag and settling in beside him, on her side. He blinked. Oh. She hadn’t come for sex. He wasn’t sure what to do with himself, what she wanted or expected of him.

When she lifted his arm, draping it over her waist, he relaxed. He could do this. With a sigh against her neck, he wiggled in closer to her and let himself drift back to sleep.

When Ben woke up the next morning, Rey was no longer in his sleeping bag and he would have thought the whole thing was a dream if not for the fact that her scent still lingered. As he climbed out of his tent, he was surprised to see that almost everyone was awake, enjoying a breakfast of oatmeal and perhaps most surprising of all was the fact that Rey was laughing with Rose and Finn like nothing had happened the previous day.

*****

**Halloween 2020**

Four Months. Four full months had passed and Ben had not heard from Rey once. He’d thought the camping trip had been a turning point in their relationship, but he’d been sorely mistaken. She’d crawled into his tent, spooned him half the night and then disappeared off of the radar.

Tonight would mark a full year since the first time they’d met, and Ben felt just as frustrated and confused by her as he had that first night. He’d thought he’d gained some insight on the inner workings of Rey in July, that he understood her but in the end he just felt… lost.

He was sure of two things, however -- one: he wanted Rey. Two: he would make that clear to her.

Ben was smart enough to stay situated near the door so he could be ready when she walked in. He was not expecting what he got though.

The first one through the door was Finn and he was dressed in a black unitard and heels -- Beyonce. Rose came next, wearing a white dress and heels and finally Rey in a plaid skirt, a knotted button up and pigtails. Britney Spears.

Ben blinked, “What the hell…”

“Rose picked the theme this year,” Finn complained. “Pop princesses.”

“Beyonce, you look fabulous,” Poe came over, throwing an arm around Finn’s shoulders. “I told you that your legs would look amazing.”

“Yeah, but I’ve been struggling to keep my balls in this stupid thing the entire train ride over,” Finn groaned. “I swear one popped out on the climb up the stairs. I gave Mrs. Morris in 5B a heart attack.”

Ben wrinkled his nose and looked at Rose, “Who are you?”

She blinked, “IU. Obviously. Kpop?”

“Norman Bates here doesn’t follow music. He’s too old,” Rey interjected, giving Ben a smirk.

“What?” Ben looked down at his outfit. Khakis, a button up and a pullover sweater. “I’m not Norman Bates.”  
  


“Who are you then?” she shot back snottily, and Ben thought she almost sounded angry with him.

“I’m myself. I don’t wear costumes,” he shot back.

“Because you’re boring. And stuck up,” Rey egged him on. “You don’t have any fun at all.”

Ben tried to stay calm, tried to reason that he knew why she was doing this, but it was so hard not to get offended. She knew just what to say to get under his skin and it drove him insane. He needed to keep a level head though. He’d had four long months to think about this one encounter and he wasn’t going to let his anger get the best of him. “And you’re a brat.”

Rey narrowed her eyes, “Better than being a--”

“Okay, Rey,” Finn put an arm on her shoulder. “Let’s go get some of that punch over there.”

“No, it’s fine. Let her say what she wants to say,” Ben argued.

“You’re a jerk. And that’s why you’re always alone. Why you’ll always be alone,” she spat and Ben had to admit it stung. But he also knew that her words mirrored how she felt.

“Do you feel better now?” Ben asked. 

Rose, Finn and Poe were all watching the conversation, confused about the entire exchange. It was cryptic and charged and almost simultaneously, all three of them decided that it wasn’t meant for their ears and abandoned Ben and Rey.

“Do I feel _better?_ ” Rey asked incredulously.

“Yes, now that you’ve insulted me, do you feel better?” Ben reiterated.

Rey looked like she didn’t know how to answer that, like no one had ever asked her this. Like all she’d been met with was anger and yelling and storming off. “I… wha… don’t turn this around on me!”

“You told me once,” Ben said, stepping closer, “that maybe I should punish you when you’re being bratty.”

Rey swallowed backing against a wall, “What? I did?”

Ben nodded, “You did.” He followed closer, smirking as she slid sideways along the wall, like she was trying to get away from him. “So should I?”

“Should you what?” Rey asked nervously, still sliding and almost tripping as the wall dipped into the doorway of Poe’s room.

“Punish you, Rey. You’ve been a brat. For twelve long months,” he said lowly and his hand went to the doorknob. He twisted it and the door popped open -- he had to catch Rey as she tripped and almost fell backwards into Poe’s bedroom and Ben led her in, kicking the door shut and flipping on the light. This was risky, he knew, and not exactly the way he’d imagined it going.

But he liked the way Rey was looking at him, wide-eyed and jittery. She was nervous. This was new to her and he liked finally having the power over her. “Yes,” she whispered, still backing away.

“Yes, what?”

“Yes. Punish me,” Rey said softly, and her legs hit the end of Poe’s bed, forcing her to sit. 

Ben stopped in front of her, their knees touching and looked down at her. She swallowed and her eyes dropped to the front of his pants where he was growing hard. The thought of punishing her was possibly the most arousing thing he’d ever thought about. “Okay.” He took a moment to pull his sweater off and then took his time unbuttoning and removing his shirt.

“Okay,” Rey parroted and licked her lips as Ben’s hands went to his belt. She watched as he slowly undid the buckle. “Let me help,” she said and reached for the button. “I want you out of these dorky pants.”

He smacked her hands away. “Brat.” 

Rey smirked, but it quickly fell from her lips as Ben’s hands moved down to his pants. He worked them open and pulled the front of his boxer briefs down until his cock popped out. He was already hard and it gave a violent twitch when Ben noticed how close her mouth was. How easy it would be to just grab the back of her head and push himself into her warm, wet mouth.

She seemed to be on the same page and leaned forward, licking a drop of precum from the tip. Ben groaned and reached down, wrapping a hand around himself and tugging his cock up and out of her reach. “Not yet.”

Rey looked ready to argue but settled with a bratty, “Why not?”

“If I give you my cock, it’s not a punishment, is it?” Ben said and he liked the look of annoyance on her face. 

“Please. I won’t be a brat.” She spread her legs and Ben watched, transfixed, as her hand disappeared up her skirt.

“Take off your panties,” Ben said, his hand starting to move up and down his cock. He liked the way Rey’s eyes never left his cock as she lifted her hips and shimmied out of her underwear. He didn’t even have to tell her to touch herself. As soon as her panties were off, her hands were back under the skirt and Ben could groan from the slippery squelching sounds her pussy made as she touched herself. “You never told me what you thought of it.”

“Hmm?” Rey asked, and then her mouth fell open and Ben could see under her skirt where she’d slid two fingers into her cunt. She seemed to enjoy his eyes on her too and she planted her feet on Poe’s mattress, spreading herself open for him to watch.

“My cock. What did you think of the picture?”

Rey groaned and she used her other hand to rub tight circles on her clit, her hips jerking up off the bed. “I liked it,” Rey panted and then her mouth momentarily fell into an open O as she watched Ben thrust into his fist like he was fucking into her. “I touched myself looking at it. I still do,” she admitted. “Nice and thick,” she said, licking her lips again as her eyes stayed fixated on his erection.

“Do you want it?” Ben asked, letting go of himself long enough to kick out of his pants. He stepped up to the mattress and climbed onto it on his knees. She slid back along the bed until her head was against Poe’s pillows, nodding desperately and pulled her fingers out of her drenched pussy. Ben moaned, watching as her muscles clenched around nothing and he wanted so badly to just pull her close and shove himself inside of her. 

“Yes, Ben. Please.”

“Hmm,” Ben seemed to contemplate and crawled towards Rey on his knees. He stopped when he was close enough that his cock dragged against her thigh and he grinned when Rey squirmed. “You know what I think I’ll do?”

Rey said nothing, lifting her hips off the mattress to try to get him closer to her cunt. He took himself in his hand and rubbed the tip along her folds, coating it with her slick until it was shiny and the he dragged it up and rubbed it against her clit. Her eyes fell shut and she let out a breathy moan.

He sat on his knees and grabbed her hips, pulling her butt up and on top of his thighs so his erection was flush against her cunt and thrust against her wet slit, letting the sticky head of his cock rub against her clit each time. “Rey.”

She shook her head, her hips swivelling and girating as she tried to push him lower, to let his cock slip inside of her. He could feel how bad she wanted it.

“I’m talking to you, Rey.” He stilled her hips.

“What?” she practically growled.

“I said, do you know what I think I’ll do? To punish you?” He let her butt slide down his thighs and then gripping his dick, he guided himself to her entrance, putting pressure against it until Rey was keening. “I think I’m only going to give you the tip.” He pushed in, just an inch until his glans was sheathed inside of her.

Ben and Rey groaned together and Ben’s grip on her hips tightened. She was so wet and tight and perfect and it took all of his strength not to bury himself to the hilt. He just stayed still, enjoyed the way her walls squeezed him and he reached down, stroking himself to make up for the fact that he couldn’t be all the way inside of her.

Rey took the opportunity, now that Ben wasn’t holding her hips still to shift and draw him another inch deeper and she moaned loud enough that Ben was sure they’d be found out. He moved his hips away, his erection falling out completely. “More, Ben.”

Ben shook his head, taking hold of himself and teasing her opening before pushing the head back in. “This is all you get.”

“Please, Please,” she begged, and Ben thought he saw tears in the corners of her eyes.

He shook his head and reached down, rubbing his thumb back and forth along her clit. He was rewarded as her muscles clenched around his tip. “You can’t have all of it.”

“Why?” Rey practically sobbed and part of him was pleased with how pathetic she looked.

“Do you know how much you’ve tortured me, Rey?” Ben asked, gritting his teeth. One hand was pumping furiously along his shaft, the other still rubbing her engorged clit.

“I’m sorry,” Rey said. “I’ll be good. Just…”

“No,” he growled. “I want you, Rey. I don’t care that you’re a brat. I want you.”

“Please Ben,” Rey begged, and her voice was so breathy, he knew she must be close. He wasn’t sure if she was begging for his whole cock or begging to come. He didn’t really care.

“I’ll give you all of my cock when you admit that you want all of me,” Ben told her.

Rey nodded, “I want your cock, Ben. I do.”

He shook his head, “When you tell me that you want to be with me. When you stop playing games. When you want all of _me_ , Rey.”

Rey made a strangled noise and Ben’s fingers worked faster against her until she seemed to burst and she cried out his name, her back arching off the bed as her pussy fluttered around him. 

The sight of her coming undone was one to behold -- the way she arched up and her mouth fell open. Ben’s hand worked up and down his shaft furiously as he spilled himself into her. When he was done, he pulled out, watching with satisfaction as his cum dribbled out for a moment before gathering her into his arms.

He kissed the crown of her head first and then pulled her into a deep kiss, which she returned, moaning into his mouth and threading her fingers into his hair. When the kiss broke, he held her for a few minutes, tucking her head under his chin until she turned stiff in his arms.

“What did you mean?” Rey asked quietly.

Ben knew that she would need clarification. “I mean that I want all of you. Not just this. I want you. A relationship. I want you to tease me and cuddle with me at night when you need me. I want to know you and love you and make love to you. Because that is what you deserve, Rey.”

She hid her face against his chest, and Ben would think the wetness spreading across his chest was sweat if not for Rey’s soft sniffles. “You don’t mean that.” She said after a few moments. 

“I do,” Ben said. “I mean it.”

Rey shook her head and sat up and Ben could see the emotions flicker across her face -- desire, sadness, confusion -- before finally settling on anger. “Get out.”

Ben shook his head, “That’s not what you want.”

“It is. I don’t want you.”

“You do,” Ben insisted. “You’re pushing me away.”

“ _Leave_ ,” she tried again, this time pushing him away as he sat up.

“I won’t,” he promised, taking her face in his hands and giving her a gentle kiss. “I won’t leave you, if you want me, Rey.”

“I don’t want you,” she said, pushing him away. “I was up for sex and you ruined it with this. You’re horrible!”

Ben’s heart clenched and he wondered if he’d had it wrong this whole time. He found himself feeling confused and hurt and he wasn’t sure what to do. Even though his brain and his gut were both telling him she was lying, he couldn’t deny the way his heart felt. Devastated. “Do you really want me to go?”

“YES!” She practically screamed and Ben hurried to dress before someone came to check on her outburst. Part of him hated leaving. If Rey was lying like he suspected she was, leaving her here would only cement her fear that no one would ever stay.

But he also knew, as hard as this was, that it was on Rey. He couldn’t change her mind for her and she’d have to learn on her own that she couldn’t continually push people away as an impossible to pass test. “Remember what I said, Rey. I want you and all you have to do is say the word and I’m yours.”

He wasn’t sure what else he could say and he stood by the door for a full minute, waiting -- hoping that she would say what he wanted to hear. Instead, she wiped tears from her face angrily as she glared at the floor. “Okay. You have my number.”

With that, he opened the door and let himself out, hoping that she would realize she’d made a mistake. He paused outside of the door, waiting for her to come out. He waited until his chest ached with the realization that she wasn’t coming, that he was just another man in a long list of men that Rey had pushed away.

*****

Ben got home, showered and crawled into bed. He tossed and turned for over an hour before he heard someone pounding on the door. Climbing out of bed, he put on his slippers and padded to the door, looking through the peephole before swinging the door open. He wonderged how she knew where he lived but knew without even having to ask that Poe was probably behind this.

Rey stood there, in her rumpled schoolgirl costume, and mascara trails on her cheeks. “You never called me,” she accused.

“What?” He couldn’t figure out what she was talking about.

“After the fourth of July weekend, you never called,” Rey accused.

“I didn’t have your number,” Ben replied.

“You did! I texted you,” Rey argued, pushing past him to enter his apartment. “Nice slippers,” she said in a mocking tone.

“Brat,” he teased back. “And I deleted it when you never replied to me.”

Rey walked around his apartment, examining his furniture and knick knacks. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Ben said. “Like I said earlier, you tormented me.”

Rey paused at a picture of his parents, picked up the frame and looked longingly at it before setting it back down on the table. “I wasn’t trying to.”

“I know.” He put his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants and moved closer. “My parents. My dad would like you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. He likes giving me a hard time. Just like you,” Ben grinned.

Rey smirked, but then her face dropped. “I wanted you to call.”

“I didn’t know that,” Ben shrugged. “I didn’t know how you felt about me. I still don’t.”

Rey turned to him, looking hurt and he wondered why when she couldn’t have made it any more unclear what her feelings were. “Ben I… I like you. A lot.”

“I see,” was all he said, waiting for her to continue.

“I like that you call me out. I like that you’re always pushing food on me. I like the way you’re always watching me when we’re in the same room. Yes, I noticed,” she said before he could argue. “I like that you care what I think or what I say. I like when you hold me,” she admitted with a blush. “I want all of that.”

“What are you saying, Rey?” Ben already knew the answer, but he still wanted to hear it.

“I want all of you, Ben.”

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead, then leaned back with a smirk and said, “That wasn’t so hard, now was it?”

“Shut up and take me to bed, Ben,” Rey said, pinching his bicep and then she squealed as he picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. “BEN!”

*****  
  


**Halloween 2021**

“This is humiliating,” Ben complained, itching his scalp.

“Quit complaining. This is gonna be fun,” Rey grinned, fixing his buttons -- he couldn’t do it himself with his big furry mitts. When the elevator dinged, signalling their arrival on the fifth floor, Ben sighed.

Three weeks was all it took for Rey to wear him down. He almost cursed the fact that she’d moved in last month because once they were constantly around each other, it was only a matter of time before he’d be forced to give in.

Ben hated costumes. He had refused to wear one and when she finally _finally_ talked him into one, of course it would be an embarrassing costume like this.

Rey threw the door of Poe’s apartment open and entered with a twirl, “We have arrived~”

Ben trudged in, looking every bit as unhappy as he felt. When Poe and Finn saw him, they both burst out laughing. 

“Oh my God! Beauty and the Beast! This is perfect!” Poe breathed between laughs and Finn was doubled over, wiping the tears from his eyes.

“Get a picture!” Rose squealed with delight.

“You’re lucky I love you,” Ben complained to Rey with a smile.

“I know,” she grinned and kissed his cheek. 

THE END.

**Author's Note:**

> Gonna be real honest, not proud of this work! I feel like I'm not good at one shots. And I tried to make this kinkier but alas, kink is not my forte and I tend to focus too much on character development so I'm sorry this is not as hot as the challenge suggests?
> 
> I hope this was at least somewhat enjoyable? (though I feel like its a mess) and thank you to anyone who made it through to the end XD


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